Blood Disorder
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: What if it was Nick who developed Luekemia after baby Sarah's birth, and not Kate. This is my take on an alternative version of the story! Nick and Kate were my favourite Heartbeat characters!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**My second Heartbeat fan fic, yet again this one is for Nick and Kate, as I'm shocked there are not more stories about this classic couple out there! They were my favourite characters in this great series, and things were never the same after Kate died and Nick left! In this new fiction of mine, what would have happened if it had been Nick that developed Luekemia after baby Sarah's birth! Please don't forget to REVIEW!**

Nick stood in the hospital doorway, smiling, looking down at his wife glowing and radiant as always, and his beautiful baby daughter.

"Aren't you coming in then?" Kate asked, beaming with pride, and beautiful in Nick's eyes, as he made his way over to the side of the bed perching himself down on the mattress, and wrapping his arm around his wife.

"Hello, Sarah Rowen." He smiled, gazing down at the almost perfect bundle in Kate's arms; it was then that she observed the patching of dark bruising around Nick's wrist, encompassed with blood spotting under the skin, and spreading up his arm, beneath his shirt sleeve.

"Nick, how did you do that?" She asked, unable to conceal or deny her concern.

Nick frowned, pulling back his shirt cuff with the forefinger of his other hand to take a closer look at the bruising.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "must have just knocked it I suppose."

Kate frowned. "Well that looks nasty."

"Kate you've just had our baby," Nick laughed, tickling the tiny palm of the small child sandwiched between him and Kate with his little finger and smiling as his daughter's tiny fingers closed up around his with surprising strength. "Why don't you try stop being the doctor for once and start being the patient."

"I'm not ill Nick." She smiled. "Besides, haven't you heard? Doctors make the worst patients."

"I know." He remarked cheekily.

"Oi!"

"Give us a kiss." Nick grinned, although as Kate leaned into her husbands embrace, joining him in a deep and affectionate kiss she couldn't help but notice the slight pallor to his face and cheeks, and the dark circles under his eyes.

In truth Nick didn't want to have to tell his wife that this wasn't the first episode of extreme of excessive bruising he'd experienced in the last few weeks. Nor did he want to tell her about the headaches, or the bone and joint pains which had afflicted him, seemingly without cause or reason. She's just had their baby, it was now his job to take care of her, and that was exactly what Nick intended to do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Nick… Nick… Nick!"

"Huh?" Nick was suddenly startled awake by the sound of his wife shouting his name. Looking up he saw Kate leaning over him, cradling baby Sarah in her arms, an expression of annoyance, coupled with concern flashed across her face.

"Sarah was crying again." She explained. "She's been screaming loud enough to wake the entire village."

"What?" Nick asked, still slightly dazed, and bleary eyed from the last dazzling effects of sleep.

"Nick, it was your turn to get up and see to her." Kate exclaimed, annoyance now creeping into her tone, as sleep deprivation did nothing to improve her mood. "I called you but you didn't answer."

Mother and baby had now been home from the hospital for close to a week, and although the first few days had been the most difficult for Kate, it had soon become apparent that Nick was struggling to balance the newly appointed responsibilities of fatherhood with his duties as a police officer, and appeared constantly exhausted.

"Oh, I'm sorry love." He stifled a yawn apologetically, wiping the sleep from his eyes with the palm of his hand, as he kicked the bed sheets off and threw his legs over the edge of the bed. "Here, give her to me," he offered, extending his arms in order to take his daughter. "I'll take over for a bit, you get some sleep."

The tiny baby let out a moan in protest as she was passed from her mother's into her father's arms, but soon settled again in the comforting warmth of Nick's cradling embrace.

"Nick," Kate sighed, "Are you sure everything's alright?"

"Yeah." Nick nodded, still looking down at the baby cradled in his arms.

"You would tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you Nick?" Kate asked.

"Of course love." He assured her.

Nick rocked his daughter in his arms for a while, as Kate settled herself back beneath the warm blankets, making reassuring cooing noises in an attempt to sooth the little girl until Sarah fell asleep again.

""I'll just settle her " He whispered, looking down at his daughter with a proud and affectionate smile. "You get some rest. I'll be back in a moment."

"Nick!" Kate exclaimed as he turned to look at her. "You're bleeding!"

Kate observed with concern the blood trickling from her husband's nostril as Nick wiped the blood dripping from his nose with the back of one slightly shaky hand, examining the hot liquid with slight alarm, and some small sense of bewilderment.

"I'll get a tissue." Kate offered, throwing the blankets urgently to one side, and ler legs over the edge of the bed before she hurried from the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

******OK, so Chapter 3 is now up! Things are going to start hotting up in the next few chapters so please stick with this one! Hope you enjoy, and please REVIEW!**

"Kate!" Maggie exclaimed as the door was blown open and the doctor entered the surgery pushing baby Sarah in her perambulator a few days later, her short blonde hair had been swept back by the wind, and she looked understandably slightly flustered. "What are you doing here? You're not due back for another few weeks!"

"Oh, hi Maggie." Kate smiled, closing the door firmly behind her against the cold country draft blowing in from outside. "Maggie, could I have a word with you please?" She asked.

The nurse nodded, frowning however at the unusual formality adopted by her friend and colleague, noticing the vague worry lines sketched into her forehead, eyes dark and tired by the new trials of motherhood.

"Of course, what's up Kate?" She responded.

"Can we speak privately?" Kate asked, Maggie nodded, following her into the consulting room she waited for Kate to provide her with some explanation for her visit, as she closed the door behind them.

Finally Kate began to explain, slightly anxiously. "It's Nick, I'm a little worried about him."

"Nick, why?"

Kate sighed. "Well, I may be wrong, but something seems not quite right with him."

"What do you mean?" Maggie asked.

"Well," Kate faltered, slightly anxiously. "He's tired all the time, he seems constantly lethargic." She explained, baby Sarah started stirring in her pram and she bent down to lift the tiny girl from her seat and into her arms. Maggie smiled, the troubled expression didn't leave Kate's face however, and she seemed unusually tense. "I've never seen him this way before."

"Well, you two have just had a baby Kate." The nurse did her best to reassure the doctor's concerns. Although something about Kate's tome and obvious anxiety made her uneasy, there was evidently more to the doctor's concerns than was initially apparent, and Kate was a good doctor, conscientious and level headed, it would take more to cause her such concern under normal circumstances.

The doctor sighed. "Yes, but it's a little more than that."

"What? What is it Kate?" Maggie pressed.

"There's the bruising."

"Bruising?"

"He keeps on getting these bruises." Kate explained. "All he says when I ask him about them is that he might have knocked into something, but he's never been clumsy before. The other evening he had a nose bleed, the first I've ever seen him have, it just started without reason whilst he was settling baby Sarah, I saw it with my own eyes, and I know he's been having others since, although he's tried to hide it from me. I'm worried Maggie, something's really wrong."

"Oh Kate…" Maggie exclaimed, suddenly realising the young doctor's concerns, and what the catalogue of symptoms could mean. "If you're right…"

"To be honest I don't really want to contemplate if I'm right, I hope to God I'm wrong."

"We would need to get a blood sample to be sure, I know it might not be anything, but if it is we need to know, and soon… see if you can get him to pop in and see me over the next few days. Tell him anytime that's convenient with him, I'll try to squeeze him in."

"Thanks Maggie." Kate smiled slightly to this, the anxiety still not completely gone from her face however. "I'll do what I can, but convincing him that there's anything wrong in the first place isn't going to be easy."

"If anybody can convince Nick to do anything you can Kate." Maggie smiled, leaning in to hug her colleague and close friend tightly to her. "He loves you so much he'd do just about anything for you Kate… and try not to worry, I'm sure everything is going to be alright."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was in the early evening a week later when Kate answered a knock at the front door to find Doctor Radcliffe standing on the front step of the police house. He smiled in his usual friendly manor, as she laid eyes on him, and she returned the gesture. The early evening country breeze swept his hair back into a messy tuft upon the top of his head.

"James." She smiled in surprise at their unexpected visitor.

"Sorry to disturb you Kate." He addressed her politely, expression set sombre and serious, although a reassuring twinkle still in his eye. "May I come in please?"

"Yes of course." She nodded, standing aside to allow Doctor Radcliffe space to enter the small kitchen area, before closing the door behind him. "What can I do for you?" She asked.

"Actually it was Nick I came to see." He explained. "Is he in?"

Kate nodded. "He's in the living room." She responded with a frown. "James. Is everything alright?"

Her good friend and colleague turned to her with this, expression conveying a soul tormented with suppressed and unexpressed concern. "Kate," he sighed, "Maggie's asked me to take another look at Nick's case… we've got his blood results back, his platelet count is slightly on the low side, and he's anaemic." He explained in a hushed tone, aware of Nick in the adjacent room.

"What are you trying to tell me James?" Kate frowned, shaking her head, not wanting to believe the potential seriousness of what she'd just heard.

"You're a doctor Kate, I don't need to explain to you what this might mean… but we don't know anything for certain yet. We need to try and remain positive. It could still be any number of blood disorders."

"That's all very well for you to say James." Kate hissed venomously at this. "It's not your husband's health on the line!"

"I understand your frustrations Kate." Doctor James Radcliffe sighed, emphatic to his colleague's feelings, and placing his palms comfortingly upon her two slender shoulders, his eyes, leaking with sympathy, burrowing deep into hers. "Believe me I do. It only seems like yesterday I was going through the same thing with my own wife… and it hurts, I know, I've been there. But you have to remain strong, for Mick! He doesn't know anything about your suspicions yet does he?" He asked.

Kate shook her head. "No… no, er, I haven't told him anything. I've just said its part of a routine check up for all new parents."

James nodded. "It's best not to alarm him at this stage." He agreed. "He'll need to remain positive and keep up his remaining strength if he's to make it through the potentially difficult few months ahead."

"I just hate keeping secrets from him." Kate sighed. "Evert time I open my mouth to tell him that everything will be alright I feel as though it would be telling him the most awful lies. He has a right to know about matters concerning his own health!"

James nodded understandingly. "I know how difficult this is for you Kate, believe me I do, and under normal circumstances I'd agree with you, but we don't know anything for certain yet. Surely you as a doctor can see that it's not in any of out patient's best intentions to go concerning them unnecessarily." Before adding diplomatically. "Is he just through here?" Indicating the door to their left, leading through into the small living area.

Kate nodded, leading the way. Her step was slow, weighed down with worry, although she remained calm and measured as they entered to see Nick lay sprawled out in front of the log fire. The heat radiated throughout the small room as the red and orange flames danced over the splinters of chopped and blackening wood, and Nick turned to glance in their direction as they entered.

"James." He frowned as he sat up, before getting to his feet and Doctor James Radcliffe observed that he was wearing a fitted green jumper with beige coloured trousers… he hadn't seen either Nick or Kate in the weeks since baby Sarah had been born, but now from this distance he could make out the unnatural paler of Nick's complexion and the dark circles under his tired and sunken eyes. He looked unhealthy compared to the last time he'd seen him when he'd had some colour to his cheeks and had been glowing with the prospect of becoming a father, and for the first time James could see that Kate had been right to be concerned. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm afraid this isn't a social call Nick." James sighed. "We've got the results of your blood tests back… I'm afraid they've shown up some abnormalities."

"What do you mean abnormalities?" Nick frowned.

"It's nothing to be concerned about at this stage." Doctor Radcliffe was quick to reassure him however. "It could just be that you're slightly anaemic, or that you're possibly a little run down, which isn't unlikely based on your recent change of circumstance… becoming a new parent puts an enormous amount of stress and pressure on everybody… pressure which your body isn't yet used to. Even a blip or a false reading from the first set of tests isn't out of the question, but we need to run another blood test just to be sure."

Nick nodded. "Fair enough, but did this really have to be done tonight James?" He asked.

Doctor Radcliffe aimed a slightly cautious glance at Kate with this, before continuing in what he hoped to be a casual, matter of fact tone. "I was just in the area," He explained, "and I thought that if you weren't busy there was no time like the present… it would save you having to come into the surgery at a later date, and I'm sure Maggie would appreciate the help with her workload."

Kate smiled in her husband's direction as Nick glanced at her. She could tell that he didn't completely buy James' story by the slightly concerned look in his eyes. This gesture appeared to reassure him however, and he turned back to James.

"Alright." He nodded in agreement. Kate wrapped a tight and warm arm around her husband's waist, planting a loving and affectionate kiss upon his soft, clean shaven cheek with this.

"What was that for?" Nick asked.

"Just to say I love you." She grinned, the forced smile still etched into her beautiful face as she turned back to address Doctor Radcliffe. "I'll leave you to it then." She explained. "I'm just going to put the kettle on."

Doctor James Radcliffe nodded in acknowledgement before she left the room.

As Kate closed the kitchen door behind her however she allowed a few silent tears to escape her, before quickly wiping them away and drying her eyes. It was going to take all of their combined strength to get through this, and she realised that if the worst really was to be confirmed she was going to have to put all of her own fears and worries behind her and be doubly strong for Nick over the proceeding few months, if he was ever going to pull through from the disease which might even now be putting his very life at risk.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Chapter 5 is finally up! Thank you all for being so patient with me, as you can see I haven't given up on this story! Enjoy, and please don't forget to REVIEW!**

"Come into the office Kate, and sit down." Maggie smiled, greeting her close friend and colleague with her normally cheery disposition early one cold afternoon a couple of weeks later. It had been a fairly anxious past couple of days for Kate – following James' unexpected visit – as she'd done her best to balance her duties as a new mother, look after the house, and try to reduce the domestic load on Nick as much as possible. She'd been so busy in fact that she'd been running on auto pilot, and had barely had time to think – which had on the plus side meant that she'd barely had time to let her anxieties get the better of her. If, on the very rare occasion she's felt the worry creeping in, and her concern beginning to well however, she'd only have to take one look at Nick's smiling and affectionate face to make her realise that he needed her, and that alone would be enough to remind her that she needed to be strong, and keep the niggling pangs of doubt at bay… that had been until the previous day, when she'd received a rather urgent call from Maggie mid-morning, asking her to meet her at the surgery the following afternoon – whatever had to be said obviously couldn't be spoken over the phone, and that worried Kate.

She'd lay awake most of the night, content in the knowledge that baby Sarah was sleeping soundly in the adjacent room, and enwrapped in the arms of her husbands warm embrace – hoping and preying with the strength of her heart that this all wasn't about to be taken away from her. Now, as she stepped through into the office, pushing baby Sarah in her perambulator and closing the door firmly behind her she hoped that Maggie wouldn't linger over the facts, and might tell her quickly, in the hope that it might soften the blow.

"Its bad news isn't it?" She asked the young nurse gravely.

"Sit down Kate." Maggie smiled.

The doctor took a seat nearest to the window, where she could look out over the beautiful Yorkshire countryside and remind herself of the reason she came back – it had been what Nick had wanted.

"Kate, I've got the results of Nick's blood tests back." Maggie explained, tone tentative as she took a seat beside her friend – her expression conveyed a pain however which already revealed what Kate didn't want to hear.

"And?" She pressed.

Maggie sighed, wiping a solitary tear from her eye as she spoke, leaving a faint trace of mascara as it tricked down her cheek before she wiped it away.

"I'm sorry Kate, its leukaemia,"

Suddenly the perfect tranquillity of the Yorkshire Dale's came crashing down around Kate, and the walls started to close in around her – suddenly she almost wished that she hadn't sat by the window as the beautiful obscurity of the Yorkshire landscape began to rub salt into already raw and seeping emotional wounds. The bitter tears began to flow as all her suppressed emotions and fears of the past few weeks were suddenly realised, and although this news wasn't entirely unexpected, it still came as a heavy blow.

"No… no…" She shook her head in disbelief, her subconscious doing everything it could to fool her into believing that this wasn't really happening, allowing her to deny the seriousness of the situation – although her logical, medically trained mind was telling her that this was something that could not be ignored. This proved to be of little comfort to Kate in light of the current circumstances however.

"He can't have… I've just had our baby." She choked.

"I know." Maggie sighed soothingly, taking the young doctor's hand in hers in a gesture of comfort. "I'm so sorry Kate… he's so young, it's so unfair."

Baby Sarah looked up at her mother from her position in her perambulator, an expression of bewildered confusion painted onto her tiny, young face.

"It's all my fault Maggie." Kate sobbed, blaming herself. "I should have noticed something sooner."

"Its not your fault Kate, you were pregnant." Maggie exclaimed.

"Even so I should have been instead of gallivanting half way across Yorkshire playing superwoman."

"Don't blame yourself Kate." Maggie soothed. "He concealed it well. He must have known something was wrong."

"How long must he have been feeling like this?" Kate wondered.

Maggie thought about this for a moment. "Well based on the results of the blood tests we received," She answered honestly, "I'd say at least a couple of weeks before you first started to notice the symptoms. His blood cell count's rather low, although I think we've caught it early enough to be able to do something about that – its still in an early enough stage of development to respond to treatment."

"So where do we go from here?" Kate asked.

"Well, there's chemotherapy. I don't need to tell you that the latest developments in leukaemia treatments have come on a long way in recent years, but we do need to remain realistic here Kate, it's still the worst possible news we could receive."

"I can't tell Maggie." Kate sobbed.

Maggie nodded sympathetically. "I understand your reservations Kate." She sighed, wrapping her friend in a warm and reassuring embrace. "I do… but someone needs to tell him. The sooner he knows the situation, the sooner we can begin treatment… it's his only chance."

Kate sniffed, as the young nurse rubbed her back soothingly, in a warming gesture of comfort.

"Tell you what," She smiled – biting back her own tears. "You get him to come and see me tomorrow, and I'll tell him. It might sound better coming from me, given the circumstances anyway."

But deep down not even Maggie could bring herself to believe her own words – that everything was going to be alright. How could she knowing what she knew about the condition? How could anything ever be the same again, when Nick was even now fighting for his life?


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Come in Nick, and take a seat." Maggie smiled – as far as she was physically able considering what she was about to have to say – as Nick entered the surgery, removing his helmet in a gentlemanly gesture to the young woman, the following morning.

It was never easy having to deliver the news which she was about to have to deliver to anyone, but was especially difficult for a friend, and she bit back the tears which threatened to well and to force her words beyond the lump in her throat in a bid to remain professional.

"We've got the results of your blood tests back." She explained as Nick took a seat before her, and she swallowed hard. "It's not good news I'm afraid… and I'm sorry Nick, but there really is no easy way to tell you this, but I'm afraid you have leukaemia."

Nick froze – it took a while for this information to sink in, as it quite often did for many other cases of this nature, and Maggie could tell that even when it finally had done Nick was still not prepared to entirely believe it.

"I'm sorry Maggie." He frowned. "Could you repeat that please? I must have misheard you… I thought you just told me that I have leukaemia."

Maggie nodded. "I did." She sighed.

Nick shook his head disbelievingly. "No… no…" He faltered. "This can't be right… you must be mistaken…"

"We've run all sets of tests twice Nick," Maggie explained apologetically, "and they've all been examined by a specialist who says the same thing. There is no mistake I'm afraid. I'm so sorry."

"But Kate… she's just had our baby." He faltered.

"I know."

"Does she know?" He demanded – eyes boring into Maggie's accusingly and her head fell in shame.

She nodded.

"Then why didn't anyone tell me?" He snapped.

"We're telling you now!"

It was then that the tears which had threatened to fall could not be contained any longer, and after her conversation with Kate the previous day she found that despite her own words of strength to the young woman, she herself could no longer be strong.

Nick appeared to soften at the sight of his friend's distress however, and despite his own pain reached out to squeeze her smaller hand reassuringly as she broke down.

It was a few minutes before either of them spoke again however – Maggie realised that Nick probably needed some quiet time to himself, to allow this quite devastating news to sink in, and she certainly needed a moment to compose the broken thoughts swimming around in her own head. When somebody did finally speak again it was Nick who broke the silence between them.

"I'm sorry." He apologised. "This isn't your fault, you're only the messenger, I shouldn't have snapped."

"No, it's alright." She sniffed, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose on an old rag of tissue which she'd pulled from her pocket. "I understand… Nick… you've just had a terrible shock, I don't think anybody would blame you for feeling angry…"

"I'm not angry Maggie." Nick explained, getting to his feet and walking over to look out of the window upon the vast Yorkshire countryside outside – it was beautiful. Nick never failed to marvel at the beauty of its landscape every morning, and smile about how perfect everything seemed – this after all was what had first attracted him to Aidesfield in the first place. "I'm scared…" He finally confessed. "I guess I've known deep down over the past few weeks that there was something more serious wrong… that this wasn't just a cold… but I didn't want to believe it… and I didn't want to worry Kate."

Maggie nodded, she could perfectly understand that.

"I am going to fight this Maggie!" Nick promised. "I am going to beat this!"

The young nurse smiled. "I know Nick." She nodded. "I know you are… and I wouldn't have expected anything less off you!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

A few days after Nick's official diagnosis Sergeant Blaketon called around the house – there had been a spate of petrol burglaries in the area over the previous few days, and although not malicious he was by no means a patient man. He ran the local police station with an iron tongue, and expected one hundred percent dedication from his officers, he just couldn't understand why Nick – who was normally such a good and conscientious constable – would allow things to get so out of control on this patch.

There had been nobody to answer the front door to him once he arrived, and as he stepped over the threshold he had noticed the state of the normally well kempt police house – which had done nothing to improve his mood. The previous few days washing still sat pilled up in the washing basket in the corner of the kitchen, the baby's clothes hung over the clothes horse, and piles of toys lay scattered across the floor. Sergeant Blaketon had accidentally stepped on a small rubber duck on his way into the small living area, and as he had done so he'd been both surprised and angered by the sight of Nick, as he'd emerged from the small staircase leading upstairs, pale faced and still clad in his brown dressing gown.

"PC Rowan," He now stood, very cross, and shouting a great deal, as the young constable stood almost to attention before his boss – if he hadn't been so angry and had have looked closer he might have noticed just how tired and drawn the young man rally was. "Just because you've recently had a baby that doesn't give you the right to slack on your duties."

"I know Sarge, I'm sorry." Nick apologised.

"Your wife if the one whose just had the baby, not you!"

"Yes Sarge."

It was then that Kate too had emerged from upstairs, roused by the commotion going on downstairs –having just settled baby Sarah. Nick realised, as he made eye contact with her from behind Sergeant Blaketon's back, that she wasn't going to be able to keep quiet about the situation now despite the fact that he'd asked her and Maggie not to say anything – he didn't want anyone to know. He was going to fight this, but he didn't think he would be able to handle to pity once people found out that he'd jus been handed what was quite essentially his death sentence – they would all start treating him differently, and he wanted to maintain some degree of normality for as long as possible. But that wasn't fare on Kate, and he now realised that. She was going to need friends around her to support her through the difficult times ahead, and, God forbid if anything were to happen to Nick, to be there to help her at the end. He needed to know that his wife and daughter would be alright – that if anything were to happen to him, that if he couldn't fight this, then they would be taken care of.

"Sergeant Blaketon, Nick is sick!" Kate exclaimed, attracting the Sergeant's attention as he noticed her presence for the first time, and he turned to face her.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "He doesn't look sick." He added, looking Nick up and down with a critical eye with this as though examining every aspect of his haggard appearance for any small sign of sickness – he looked a little pale, and perhaps a little tired, but that was all, and that was all to be expected considering his wife had just had their baby, it took the constitution a while to adjust to the realities of parenthood – late night feeds and the added pressure of caring for a little one.

"Cold is it? In that case why didn't he call the station this morning to report it, and set the proper procedures in motion?"

"He has leukaemia!" She snapped, vehemently, surprising even herself as the words tripped from her tongue before she could stop them. He tears glistened in her eyes and her voice shock, as Nick made his way over to his wife to comfort her. Somehow the sudden, unexpected nature of her revelation made their situation seem all the more real and they both looked rather pale as he out his arm around her.

Sergeant Blaketon meanwhile looked as though he had been slapped in the face, standing there starring as the young couple in an evident state of shock.

"What?..." He faltered. "How?... Is this for real?"

Nick nodded.

"I'm sorry… I didn't know… why didn't you tell me?"

"It was only confirmed a few days ago." Nick explained.

"I'm so sorry Rowan… I… I don't know what to say…"

"To be honest Sarge," Nick sighed, looking down at his wife and squeezing her hand reassuringly as he made his way back over to where Blaketon stood, now that his wife had regained much of her usual composure, "I've been feeling under the weather for quite a few weeks now. I think I suspected that it might have been something potentially quite serious, but I didn't want to admit it to myself, and I didn't want to worry Kate… even so its still come as quite a shock to us. I wasn't sure that I was ready for people to find out just yet."

Sergeant Blaketon looked at the young man with sympathetic eyes, he could understand that. "Well Nick," He coughed, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat – despite his hard exterior he was really quite fond of the young constable, who was also, in his opinion, one of his best officers – "I don't want you worrying about anything to do with the job, that's the last thing you need at the moment. You can out that uniform away for a start," He added, pointing in the direction of a set of police issue shirts and trousers he spotted folded up in the corner, evidently newly laundered and ironed, "as of now I'm placing you on indeterminate sick leave. I'll get Bellamy or Ventress to cover your patch, and may I just say Nick that if there's anything you or your good lady wife need in the weeks to come, we're all here for you."

"Thank you Sarge," Nick smiled, "but I think we'd just like some time to ourselves at the moment if you don't mind. The past few days… well… they've all been quite a blur."

"Yes, well, of course I understand." Sergeant Blaketon nodded, completely understanding the family's need to be alone at a time like this. He stood on the threshold of the door before turning to leave.

"There is just one more thing Sarge," Nick asked as Kate turned to return to upstairs as little Sarah started crying again, and Nick followed him out, "will you tell the others for me? Phil and Alf? I just don't feel as though I can face them at the moment."

Sergeant Blaketon nodded. "Of course I will Nick, and believe me when I say I really am so very sorry."

"I know."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Over the next few days Nick had an influx of visitors to the small police house. Phil, Alf, Gina and George were all regular visitors as the news of Nick's illness quickly spread throughout the small village, and they all popped around to see how the young constable was doing, and to see if the young couple needed any help. Even Sergeant Blaketon called around more frequently than usual to give the constable an update on what was going on down at the station in the hope that this might help to raise his spirits and to spur him on to a more rapid recovery – although each of them realised that this was in all likelihood a false hope, that Nick was indeed very gravely ill – and after a while he started to accept that these people were indeed their friends, intent on helping both him and Kate through this terrible and testing time, a time of great difficulty and most need, and had no interest in pitying them.

Doctor Radcliffe called around twice a day to administer Nick with medication – since he's initial diagnosis he'd refused to allow himself to be admitted to hospital, despite the most ardent medical advice that it would be the best place for him, and had visited on only a handful of necessary occasions as an out patient. The extra presence in the house certainly seemed to be having a positive effect on Kate, who not only now had a steady stream of helpers on call to assist her with the day to day care of the baby, but now there were plenty of people around in order to keep her company the strain of looking after her husband, a new born child, and keep on top of the home had been greatly lifted, and she was beginning to look more like her old self again.

Nick had promised to fight the disease which was currently ravaging his body, and this, coupled with the daily doses of strong medication appeared to be working, as after only a few weeks into his treatment his condition seemed to be showing some small signs of going into remission – his blood test results were for a while promising – but unfortunately this wasn't to last. What it had taken the doctors seemingly weeks to achieve had taken only days to undo – and had left Nick right back at square one again. Sickness raged against his already severely depleted immune system, leaving him weaker and sicker than ever.

A few days after the small family had enjoyed a picnic in the local countryside surrounding their Yorkshire Dales home together – a day out Kate had been reluctant to consent to in the first place, realising all too well the precarious state of her husband's health, but which Nick had adamantly insisted upon, pointing out that he hadn't been able to enjoy a proper day out with his wife and daughter since the day of his diagnosis – tragedy had struck when Nick had gone down with pneumonia and had been rushed into hospital.

He'd appeared stronger than he had done in weeks, if not a little tired, as the two had trekked through the countryside pushing little Sarah along in her pushchair and sharing the load of the picnic basket between them until they reached their intended destination – a low hill beside a small stream, concealed by a surrounding growth of trees. It was a special place to Nick and Kate, and they'd spent a happy day together, content in each other's company – although when the time had finally come to return home Nick had appeared too weak to move, and Kate had had to fetch the car. Upon returning home his breathing had by that time already become forced and laboured, and he'd spiked a fever. Nick had taken to his bed and Kate had promptly called James Radcliffe, who had diagnosed pneumonia, and a specialist had been called in to access the situation. A few days later his fever had failed to improve, and it became clear that his lungs were still filling with fluid. Nick was by now finding it increasingly difficult to breathe unaided, and Kate had been forced to go against her husband's best wishes to remain at home, and consent to the specialist's advice that he should return into hospital.

"Doctor Rowan!" Claude Greengrass hailed the young woman as he spotted her on her way to visit Nick at the hospital a few days later – she'd left baby Sarah with Gina for the day.

"Claude." She smiled.

"How's PC Rowan doing?" He asked, and she could see the concern – deep and genuine – within his wrinkled old eyes. Nick was well liked amongst the people in the small village, and it was a testament to his popularity that even Claude Greengrass, who often found himself on the wrong side of the law, was concerned for the young man. The news of his illness had hit both his friends and acquaintances hard.

"He's doing much better since his been in the hospital Claude." She explained with a small smile. "Thank you. He's not out of the woods yet, he's on some pretty strong medication which has been making him feel rather poorly the past few days, but he's fever is down slightly, and his breathing's a little easier… he's fighting Claude…" Her eyes glistened with unshed tears threatening to spill as she spoke, but she managed to maintain her composure. "We just have to keep hoping for the best… the rest is up to Nick now."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"How're you feeling Rowan?" Sergeant Blaketon asked a few days after Nick's discharge from the hospital. Throughout his stay he'd improved a great deal over the past couple of weeks – his fever had subsided quickly, once the anti-biotics had started to take hold of the bacteria and infection which had had such a devastating impact upon his already ravaged body, and his lungs were now clear – but there was little more the hospital could do, and Nick now sat up in bed, pale and tired, but happy to finally be home.

"A little better today sarge." He smiled.

"I must say, you do look better than when we last saw you." Blaketon observed.

Compared to the sickly tinge of blue and grey to his complexion in the hospital it had to be said that Nick did indeed look a lot better than he had done throughout the past couple of weeks. His eyes were bright, he'd put on a little weight, and there was now a distinct flush of healthy colour to his cheeks – what he had Kate had failed to tell their friends and neighbours however was that since being in the hospital Nick had started to respond a lot better to the latest bout of drugs being used to treat the leukaemia, and his most recent set of blood work looked promising.

Both still realised however that it was still very early days – the cancer might have been losing, but it wasn't in remission, and although the toxic cocktail of powerful chemicals being pumped through his system finally seemed to be gaining the upper hand over the disease Nick wasn't out of the woods yet, and neither wanted to raise people's hopes for his eventual full recovery too soon – there was still a long way to go.

"Well, we mustn't keep you any longer Rowan." Sergeant Blaketon spoke as he suddenly rose to leave, and Nick looked at the clock, turning to glance at PC Bellamy who sat at the opposite side of Nick's bed as he did so. Neither had actually been there for very long – but Nick realised that the Sergeant didn't like to be kept sitting to idle for too long, and felt the itch to be back on duty as soon as possible.

"Your good lady wife says you need your rest." He explained. "Come along Bellamy."

"Ummm…" PC Bellamy faltered with this, looking down at his own watch as though just to confirm the time. "Sarge, my shift just ended… I'm just going to stay a little longer and keep Nick company id that's alright with you?"

Nick smiled as Sergeant Blaketon looked down at both his officers at this, his chin protruding slightly and shoulders hunched the way they always did when he either wasn't sure about something or he disapproved. Of course both young men realised that now his shift had ended Oscar Blaketon no longer had any authority over Phil Bellamy, but it was a formality each of his officers adopted more out of respect than through any sense of duty, and finally his head bobbed in a reluctant sign of agreement.

"Very well," He grunted in his familiar deep rumble of a tone, getting to his feet – and as he did so the bed springs creaked loudly as the depression in the mattress returned to its original spongy pockmarked consistency. He replaced his Sergeant's cap as a clear indication that his visit was at least for now over, and offered Nick a final sympathetic smile.

"You take care of yourself Rowan…" He nodded awkwardly. "We want you back on duty as soon as you're well enough to return."

Phil grinned and rolled his eyes behind his superiors back – but the sentiment was there, and Nick knew that deep down there was good meaning behind those words. He nodded in affirmation, motioned a quiet 'thank you' and with that Sergeant Blaketon took his leave.

When he was gone Phil Bellamy finally sighed. "Thank God, I thought he'd never go!"

"He means well." Nick grinned.

"Yeah, but why does he have to be so formal about it?"

Nick shrugged. "I guess that's just the way he is I suppose."

Phil sighed a heavy sigh. "I guess." He responded. "But it still gets right up my nose."

Nick forced a smile.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It was close to an hour later when Phil Bellamy finally stepped outside the front door of the old Police house and out into the cold winter evening – the bitter wind swept up in icy swirls, nipping at ankles, knowing at toes, and lifting fragments of grit and sand, which stung as they grazed bare flesh. Nick's future it seemed was still an uncertain one, and the volatile state of the wet Yorkshire weather seemed to reflect the grief in all of their hearts. There had been a time, only a few weeks before, when they'd thought they might have so easily lost him – he'd been so weak and seemed so close to death's door, as though he's given up the fight – that it now seemed nothing short of miraculous to have spent time with him, sitting up in his own bed, but for just how long Phil now wondered sadly? Nobody seemed to have any answers about Nick's prospects long term, not even the doctors at the hospital had seemed to be able to answer their ever growing list of questions, advising them all instead to just take things one day at a time, and although he's managed to maintain a façade of calm on the outside, as much for his own sake as for Nick and Kate's, deep inside the thought of his best friend's suffering was breaking his heart.

Nick was his best friend, and despite the fact that he'd spent many happy years in Aidensfield before Nick and Kate had first moved to the sleepy Yorkshire village, he couldn't now imagine his life without him, or imagine a time when the young police officer was no longer a part of their community. Nothing about any of this seemed at all fair to Phil, and he swiped a few stray tears away angrily, and pulled his collar up to shield his neck from the large, and wet droplets of freezing cold rain which pelted him as they dripped from the swollen grey storm clouds above – tugging his work issue greatcoat even more tightly around his slightly shivering torso as he set off in the direction of the bus stop, and home.

As he walked he thrust his cold and pale fingers into his pockets to try and restore some of the circulation, and warm his aching bones, and as he did so his palm closed around a jagged piece of crumpled up paper, torn from a notebook – he frowned, stopping at the side of the well-trodden dirt track he'd been walking as he squeezed his palm even tighter around the small piece of hastily folded paper – knuckles turning white beneath the course material of his coat pocket.

His heart immediately skipped a beat as he withdrew it from his pocket, and he immediately made out the by now familiar, and slightly messy scrawl of Nick's careless handwriting – in one corner of the folded sheet of paper Phil could see that the note had been addressed to him, and had come from his friend's police issue notebook, and with the tears still glistening in his eyes – although the increasingly heavy rain now masked their salty trail down his slightly flushed flesh somewhat as they spilled out onto his naturally pale cheeks – and with trepidation in his aching heart he began to read:

Dear Phil, (the note read),

I know that this is probably going to be hard for you, as it has been hard for us all to have to deal with, and I don't wish to cause anyone anymore upset and pain than they are currently having to deal with by asking them to talk about something which I know they cannot yet accept, but I have come to the conclusion that the time has now come to discuss what will happen in the case of what might very well prove to be the inevitable, and it would be a great weight off my mind to know that everything will be alright in the event of the worst case scenario. We must now face the facts – this disease is a killer – I have already had once very close call – and I need to know that Kate will be alright, and that baby Sarah will be well taken care of if anything should happen to me and I am no longer able to be around to take care of them. I want you to keep an eye on them for me, and make sure that they are going to be alright together. I need you to promise me that you will do this for me Phil. I have tried to speak with Kate regarding the matter of my affairs, but I can tell that she finds the whole subject just far too distressing, she's not ready to face the matter yet, and so I have resolved not to broach the subject with her any further. To be honest I think that being a doctor makes it all the more difficult for her to have to deal with the situation, she understands the disease, and knows the long term prognoses, and so cannot lie to herself and deceive herself that everything is going to be alright, because there are no guarantees. But all you need to know is that I have already set everything in order whilst I was still in the hospital. There is nothing left for any of you to worry about – but I especially don't want Kate concerned, she has enough on her plate at the moment.

There is just one other thing though Phil – I wanted to thank you for everything you've done for both me and Kate over the years, and for being the very best of friends I could have ever wished for. As you know moving here wasn't exactly one of the easiest of transitions for me and Kate when we first arrived, but even then you were nothing less than supportive, and I just wanted to let you know that I will miss you very much – but I haven't given up yet. I am still going to fight this disease with every last ounce of strength I have left in this broken body, and although I cannot promise to beat it I will certainly do my best. I don't want to die, I know that I still have everything left to live for, but there comes a time when you have to think about the practicalities because the ones you leave behind are far too precious to ignore, I hope this letter addresses those. I just want to say thank you again for being my friend, for keeping me company for all these long weeks when all I have seemed able to do is rest and when I might so easily have otherwise gone out of my mind with boredom, and I want to say that I know you'll see Kate and Sarah alright. I trust you.

Stay strong for me Phil. Whatever happens I know you can get through it, I certainly don't know what I would have done without you these past few weeks, and all I can do is thank you again for that.

Nick.

It was only a short note, scribbled in haste and Phil could tell then thrust carelessly into the depths of his pocket whilst he wasn't looking, but the ever growing lump in his throat was making it difficult to swallow and also more difficult to breathe, and by the time he finished re-reading the letter he was already standing outside his own front door. He'd walked for several miles without even noticing he'd done so, and was by now soaked through, skin numb, and shivering, but he barely seemed to notice. He now had more pressing, and depressing, issues to concern himself with, such as what to do if his best friend really didn't make it – a thought which any of them could hardly even bare to entertain. His heart was heavy after reading the note from Nick, and with a heavy sigh he fumbled for his house keys in his other pocket before slowly unlocking his front door and stepping over the threshold without even bothering to wipe his boots on the mat, before closing the door behind him. He needed some time to think, and to come to terms with what he had just read, and he could only do that alone.


End file.
